Va-Jay Intrusion

Dear Bun,
Took your first picture today and I gotta say, you were kind of a disappointment. I get it that you’re super tiny and all, but it really would have made it all worth my while if I could actually see your alien head OR if you had done some flips or something. Instead, I was forced to chug 32 ounces of Gatorade in 30 minutes just so my bladder wouldn’t block the blurry little speck that is you right now. And, on top of it all…you were too tiny to see with the regular ultrasound so they had go right up my va-jay in order to see you. That being said, I have two action items for our next meeting:
1. Practice some triple axels in the uterus-oven
2. Grab a hold of some of Mommy’s calories and grow, Baby Bun, grow. I would prefer not to start my morning with a 12-inch, lube covered instrument (as fun as that may sound to some of you perverts)

And one last thing, Bun – if you could lay off the milk-gland production for a bit, I would really appreciate it. I’m honestly not sure I can rock more than 2 sports bras and I’d like to avoid having pornographically huge boobs. I just went the whole surgically enhanced route and I’m just not sure how much these former A cups can really handle.

Fingers crossed on the Syphilis test! ;)

PS – Thanks for the pregnancy “trump card,” it works for EVERYTHING!!